My Fairette
by Themulchmeister
Summary: An omake side-story for My Fairy. Benny Makaren wakes up one day the entire guild and himself has been Gender-swapped. The only cure it seems is to go out and spend a day in the sun and surf. But when a bunch of familiar meanies stamp their grounds, how will Natalie, Granielle, Laddy and Eddie handle the crisis? Some Gratsu and Levia may appear at some point.
1. Pilot

**The following story is a Gen-swap parody omake of one of my ongoing OC fics My Fairy. It has no real connection to My Fairy's storyline and can be read just as a stand-alone short story. You'll notice the names of the canon Fairy Tail characters have all been changed to make them sound more feminine or masculine (since it's hard to picture them like that if we used their normal names I guess). **

**Naturally this story is bound to cause offence in some people. Just like how I don't claim to own Fairy Tail, I don't claim to be a woman and understand everything about the opposite sex. But please just treat this story like you would any other piece of fiction and not take it too seriously. This is merely a self-parody and Fairy Tail parody. **

**The first chapters a pilot, taken from chapter 32 of My Fairy just so you can sort of understand the context. Okay I hope you enjoy!**

**~My Fairette~**

Agh...What a splendid Sunday morning to wake up to. The sun peers through the blinds like thin rays of joy and hope. The birds sing out their regular tunes, hoping to score another date for their next romp. Quiet chatter fills the streets below my apartment as the townsfolk slow down their pace in the busy pace of life for once. Yeah, I feel a big gulp of awesome rising in my chest today.

Speaking of, oh nothing, I thought I felt a little heavier down on my back but it's nothing...

"Hmm, these jeans fitted me alright yesterday?" I passively mutter to myself as I slip on my everyday attire (for some reason I felt compelled to devote a paragraph to describing every article of my clothing, did I normally find that necessary?)

Well anyway, I persisted in getting the jeans to rise past my hips and snug into their position. Ironically, the fly was pretty simple to do up though.

"*Yawn* I feel a bit lighter and springer today!" I continue offering comfort noise to myself as I perched down on the table to a homemade breakfast of Tenrou Quail Eggs on Toast. "*Hmm* *Nom* *Nom*" Now that's a little strange too; was I always this vocal when eating food?

"HnnnnnGrreeeyyaaahh!" Uttering a strange squeal, I stretch my arms out as I ready myself to leave for a fairly laid back day at the office (by which I mean the guild of course!). Getting ready to leave however took a bit longer than usual, there was this one particular stray hair that just would NOT sit down with the others (kaw!).

Twenty-three and a quarter minutes later I shut the door of my apartment behind me. The shoes felt too damp and smelly so I went for some light sandals instead. I also found a light fitting black shirt which showed off three quarters of my arms. My jeans were sky blue and had been bleached at the front and slightly frayed on the hems (unintentional though). Oh and I kept my hair flattened and slightly teasing along my shoulders today. Without even consultant the mirror today, I knew my eyes were glistening with a coral blue colour. Also, my skin felt really smooth and moist today, which is great because with the whole being a Master of Guild thing lately, I had been breaking out everywhere which I really did NOT want to have a break out.

"Ah...And with that paragraph I can leave with confidence and flare." I smile to myself as I turn away from my door. When I twirl around, I catch my next door neighbour out the corner of my eye as she begins to leave for work as well. "Oh hey Lucy, looks like we _both _slept in today like shleurgh?"

My colourful heart is soon dyed sour grey as I discover the person standing outside Lucy's door is definitely NOT Lucy. Though he somehow managed to acquire her white tanktop (you know the one with the blue cross on it?), blue frilled skirt, ¾ shin high boots, whip and keyset, this guy was definitely not gonna pass off as a Lucy cosplayer anytime soon. I mean come on! He's got a stubble and furry monsters hiding under his armpits. For the sake of decency I just CANNOT let this man get away with this!

"Excuse me sir. But do you have some business with Lucy or something?" I walk over and poke the slob on the chest. With a flick of his (I'll admit somewhat convincing) blonde wig he answers me, grumbling with a deep voice.

"Benny, it _is _me! I'm Lucy."

"OHOHOHOHOHO!" Suddenly the man's works cause me to break out in a princess laugh, holding the back of my palm to my mouth as I face him with a mocking glare. "Nice try creep, but if anyone wants to take advantage of my neighbour, they have to get past me first! And I can scream pretty loud if I have to you know!"

But the guy just wouldn't let up as he continued arguing with me. "But I AM Lucy. Look at my crest." The bloke holds out his chunky hands revealing the Fairy Tail crest on his right palm. "Something terrible has happened to us." He relayed with a long frown.

But those beady eyes weren't going to convince me. "Look mate I don't have time to waste with your little games. So just take your weird Lucy fanclub elsewhere or something." Shooing him off with the swat of my hand, I tap down the stairs and make a brisk exit, eager to make it to work at least..._fashionably late_ ;)

XOXOXO

"Hi Mr Jenkins~!" "Oh good morning Mr and Mrs. Pucklepie, I'll make sure to grab some scrumptious scones off you later – _ease up on the butter though I try to work it off but _:P" "Hey Oscar, where's your little sister? I hope you didn't break her dollhouse again." "Oh wait a sec Mrs. Forstone, I'll carry those bag of Oranges to your cart." "Wow, how's it going Blacksmith Stubbs, you've worked up those muscles with all the new jobs lately_ haven't you?_"

As I went on my commute to work, I kept on getting sidetracked with various people I knew from some guy who knew some other guy who knew them. As my normally twenty minute walk turned into an hour and a half adventure, I finally reached the gates of the Fairy Tail guild. Unfortunately, a face I'd rather not claim to be acquainted with was loitering outside the front gate.

"Right Mister, I'm going to have to call the police if you keep trying to-" I noticed one of his partner's in crime was standing next to him. My sour heart was now being coiled in bard wire laced with tar as I discovered one of his mates seemed to be from the Wendy fanclub. Though smaller in stature, slimmer and a bit less repulsive than his friend, I could not bear to see Wendy's great image turned into this insulting parody.

"What the hell is wrong with you guys?" I snap out at them with my hands waving in the air. "Look just where exactly do you fogeys get off dressing up in women's clothing and on top of that, impersonating Wendy and Lucy in almost every way and mannerism.

The younger boy turned to me with a devastated frown. "Ben-san. Don't you realise? This is me and Lucy-san! Something has happened to our bodies and now we look like this."

"Tsk. And I bet you even brought that flying cat which look like Charles along with you just to make your fraudulent scheme even more authentic yeah?"

The cat which looked like Charles levitated down to my eye level and scratched my nose (my precious nose!) "You ditz! How dare you speak to Wendy like that!"

"You BITCH!" At that point it was officially on as I went straight for the feisty kitty's jugular, my naturally long claws extended as I lashed out at her, barely missing as she flew up out of my range. "Oh you're not the only one with claws Miss Kitty!"

"Do I always have to scratch some sense in to you?" The feisty feline flew down for the second air raid as she dived down with her claws aimed. I dodged but she clipped my legs, tearing the left leg of my jeans, giving them a Summer's alteration.

"My one and only pair of jeans. RAWWWR!" No that was actually me as I curled my claws snapping up at the air as the cat which looked an awfully lot like Charles snickered down at me.

"HYAH! HYAH! HYAH!" As she broke through my curled eyelashes' sight several more times, she somehow managed to make several more tears through my nice clothing, one long slash through the front of my shirt just below my chest and another two just at the lower half of my back. Normally my clothes don't seem to get damaged this easily but this cat must have some really sharp talons I guess.

"Ben-san, Charles! Please stop fighting!" Finally intervening in this valuable clothes destroying melee, the young boy with medium length blue hair stepped in and broke us up. "Please stop fighting you two."

"_Ben-san, Charles! Please stop fighting!" _Hang on that sounds familiar. "Okay, now I'm really starting to freak out. Just what the hell is going on here?"

"We would have explained it to you already if you weren't acting so ridiculous." Charles retorts as she falls back to eye level with her arms crossed. "Wendy and Lucy have somehow turned into the opposite sex."

"You mean like male and female?" I blink rapidly.

"Well what else would I be referring to?" Yep that's definitely Charles alright.

"Humph." I half turn back Tsundere style. "I see you haven't swapped genders then."

"What can I say, I guess Exceeds aren't affected." She answers with an arrogant smirk.

"What if everyone else in the guild has been affected?" Wendy (hang on can we just call him Wally or something for convenience sake?) - Wally cried out as the three of us stormed into the guild.

All of my nightmares must have combined into one freakish horror display at that moment.

"GRANIELLE YOU BITCH!"

"NATALIE I'LL KILL YOU TOO!"

"JAVIS WON'T LET YOU HARM HIS GRANIE-PIE!"

"COME ON, BE A WOMAN AND FACE ME!"

"*SSSHHLRPP* UGH KANE NEED MORE MEDICINE!"

"**RIGHT YOU LOT SHUT UP OR I'LL CRUSH YOUR PRECIOUS SPINES!"**

"KYAH! EDDIE SCARLET KOWAI-DESU NE!"

If I had a jewel for how many seconds my heart had literally stopped beating from shock, I could flee this boat and live on some uninhabited Island – never having to witness the disaster that had come to fruition.

Natalie was still holding breathing out small puffs of smoke as she went over to me. "Hey you're late Benny- ugh oh-"

"Why is everyone so...so...WHY IS EVERYONE LIKE THIS!-!-?-?" I scream in my total angst at the situation I've been left to deal with. Where's my Advisor half nephew when I need him.

"Ugh, you called Hunty?" Huh? Wasn't I your 'Hunky' before?

"Yes Laxus I-GWAH!" I reeled back as I discovered my older half-nephew had a major operation of his own, with flowing blonde hair and a shirt tied up to her chest daisy dukes style. I was staring at none other than Lexus Dreyer!

"Looks like we've all swapped genders Mistress Benita." Miraja – a I mean Mirajohn explained to me as he walked over; for a guy though he still looked kinda cute.

"Why are you calling me that?" I shout out still very confused and somewhat scared. "Natsu – I mean Natalie and Granielle, are you up to this-HEY WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING OVER THERE!"

With her pink locks draping over the Ice Maiden's soft glistening flesh, the two of them turned to me with rather elegant expressions on their lips. "We just felt like doing this for some reason."

"Noo! Javis will not have Granie-pie in a Yuri love scene!" The high testosterone water bruiser came stomping over, bashing his fists down on the table as Granielle and Natalie skipped away in a fright.

"Hagh. Noone ever asked how I was going." Eating a bowl of Special K (get it because K is the chemical symbol for Potassium and he eats – oh forget it!), a grupmy old hag whinged with his black cat by the corner.

"SHUT UP GAJELLE YOU DICK!" And I kid you not everyone in the guild shouted that one out in unison.

"Ohohoh *sob* even if you're a man, we still love you Levis-chan!" Jetsy and Droysy sobbed over by the other corner of the room, hovering over a three-quarter midget bloke with blue dreads.

"Ahehe, well I could probably get used to the harem." Levis giggled weakly as the tears rained down on his dreads.

"I guess those 'Gender Swapping flavoured Brownies we ate last night really packed a punch eh Miss?" Natalie suggested as she rolled her slender arms, not to disturbed by the awful amount of side-boob appearing out of her vest.

"That was just a name!" I swat a hand in cynicism. "And why are you calling me like that too?"

"Haven't you noticed yet Benita-gal?" Granielle put her hands to her hips Her shirt suddenly disappearing revealing all her glaciers.

"PLEASE COVER UP BEFORE!" Needless to say every girl (by which I mean guy or wait did I actually mean oh geez) fell down with a near fatal nosebleed.

Also needless to say. We wouldn't be seeing any more of Javis in this chapter...

"Yeah, you came all this way here without even realising?" Eddie clinked over, his muscles rippling as the armour barely contained his hunky mass. And those piercing eyes...I think I was about to have a crush on this man.

"Now that you mention it, I have been acting a little weirder than usual." I press a hand to my lip, then keep it there for a few seconds, look up shyly at the camera then roll my eyes away. "But could what you all be suggesting is – "

The blonde Laddy formerly Lucy threw a smelly and hairy arm over my shoulder, breathing into my ear. "You're a chick too."

"A-re?" Curious I take a peek down my shirt and try to find Exhibit A of this evidence. "But my chest is still flat, I can't be a girl! I just CANNOT be a girl if I have a flat chest!"

I squealled a little when I felt Granielle and Natalie squeezing my lower cheeks. "You've got quite a nice ass on you though Benita-gal!"

"Please stop squeezing there. It's very tender." I plead with single tears streaming down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry this had to happen to you too Ben-san." The polite young boy Wally expressed his sympathy. "But even you were unfortunately not immune to the disease."

"What disease? I only ate like eight or maybe nine of those brownies last night but still..." When those two pesky girls finally left my butt-cheeks alone I consulted the rest of my body. Feeling down my side, it seems my body went from a ruler to a spoon-shaped figure overnight. "Hang on...What about my legs?" Yep, those thighs are disproportionately rounder than the rest of the legs. "Okay I'm not convinced until I..." Squinting my eyes, I shoo away all the potentially perverted girls who are now guys and just in case the guys who are now girl still hold those instincts too I shoo them away too.

[SCENE OMITTED]

"Okay, maybe I should have just looked at my face in the mirror." Feeling rather ashamed that I will never get married now, I grab a mirror from Mirajohn as I gaze at the person who now stares before me.

With dinner plate eyes, ridiculously long lashes, and thick pursing lips, I squeal with holy terror, shattering the mirror as I finally came to the conclusion...

"I'VE TURNED INTO A FREAKING WOMAN!"

/?/?/?/

_Meanwhile somewhere in Magnolia, Darian and Yoshiki looked up and faced each other._

"_I think the Mistress is calling out for us again..."_

* * *

You still here? Great then there's plenty more where that came from. Stay tuned for the next chapter..._  
_


	2. Swimsuit Therapy

Hi there. This is sort of a little omake of mine based on my major story My Fairy. I was going to have this as another chapter in the original story but I figured I'd make it into a seperate fic altogether in order to avoid making anyone suffer through more random filler. Check out chapter 32 of My Fairy in order to catch up. Or alternatively you could just go back and read the previous chapter of this one since they're both the exact same. Some of the new names should be easy to work out whilst some others might take a little more thought. I'm no expert on changing names to another gender since I've never really wrote a story like this before but I hope it at least intrigues if not get a laugh or two out of you readers. Anyway here's technically the first chapter! Enjoy!

My Fairette Part II: Swimsuit Therapy

Previously on My Fairette:...

"_I guess those 'Gender Swapping flavoured Brownies' we ate last night really packed a punch eh Miss?" _

"_That was just a name! And why are you calling me like that too?"_

"_Haven't you noticed yet Benita-gal?"_

"_Yeah, you came all this way here without even realising?"_

"_Now that you mention it, I have been acting a little weirder than usual. But could what you all be suggesting is – "_

"_You're a chick too."_

"_A-re? But my chest is still flat, I can't be a girl! I just CANNOT be a girl if I have a flat chest!"_

"_You've got quite a nice ass on you though Benita-gal!"_

"_Please stop squeezing there. It's very tender."_

"_I'm sorry this had to happen to you too Ben-san...But even you were unfortunately not immune to the disease."_

"_What disease? I only ate like eight or maybe nine of those brownies last night but still...Hang on...What about my legs? Okay I'm not convinced until I..." _

_[SCENE OMITTED]_

"_Okay, maybe I should have just looked at my face in the mirror." _

_[MAJOR MIND RAPE SHOCK IN 3...2...1...]_

"_HOLY S&%T I'VE TURNED INTO A FREAKING WOMAN!"_

/?/?/?/

Hi, my name is Benita Makaren and I'm a super awesome wizard who works for this supremely awesome guild called Fairy Tail. I'm 20 years old and 159cm, I recently put on a few kilos around the waist so I'd rather not tell you my weight right now. Also I have a rather flat chest so I'd rather not tell you my bust size either. My arms are a bit lanky and I my butt is a bit more pronounced than I'd prefer it to be. Right now I'm in the guild, wearing black spandex shorts and a sports bra.

Hang on why am I telling you all this!?

"Because you're a giiiirl remember Benita-gal?" Natalie Dragneel startles me as he gropes my chest (or lack of it) from behind)

"Oww, stop doing that Natsu you're embarrassing me!" I squeal rather like a school-girl. "Toowwwh, has anyone worked out how we can return back to our original genders yet?"

"Well I think there was some guidelines on the back of the brownie box," Laddy Heartfillia scratches his scruffy blonde hair and stubble. "Yeah but I kinda forgot what it said."

"I think I can help then," the still quite effeminate looking Yoshiki steps forward twirling a guitar lead in his right hand. "We can use my Playback to find that moment in your memory when you read the packet."

"That's like so cool Yoshi-kun," I praise my fellow mage. "I don't know how much longer I can endure living in this horridly plain female form."

/?/?/?/

FIVE MINUTES LATER:

"Right everyone we're almost ready," Yoshiki calls out for everyone to gather round for the memory recollection.

"Um...Just a little question," I raise my hand slightly. "Again, if this is Laddy's memory we're peering into why to you have to plug it up _my_ butt?"

Yoshiki offers me a very dense look. "Please don't think about it too much Mistress Makaren. Ready."

The thin cold lead penetates the rear output socket so to speak. "_AREEEE~!" _Now I definitely won't get married!

"Oh here we are," Eddie comes over with his rippling arms crossed. "It says in order to reverse the gender swapping effect you must soak the entire body in water."

I don't even need a sweat drop to look straight over to Javis. "Yo, Javis, you think you could-"

"Yes of course! I'm gonna make Granielle-chan all wet~!" The stalker guy raised his hands high in the air and sent a huge bucketload of water down upon everyone.

"Oh man, all you've done is make my clothes all soaking wet," Natalie whines as she pinches her vest which makes a slapping noise when it hits her breasts.

I look down at myself. Not only am I still in this miserable and now drenched state, but these clothes and proportions offer very little fanservice value either. "Dammit why didn't it work!?"

"You didn't let me finish reading the instructions," Eddie squints his diamond eyes as he reads the words on the screen. "You must soak yourself in water that is salty and exposed to UV rays."

"Oh _great!_" I tusk away with my hands on my hips. "Now where in the _hell_ are we supposed to find water that is not only salty but exposed to UV rays? Is there even a place around Magnolia which stores such a ridiculous thing?"

Laddy's already beady eyes become dots as he answers rather deadpan. "Um, the beach?"

/?/?/?/

SOMETIME LATER AT A RANDOM BEACH LOCATION IN A CHANGING ROOM:

"Mmm...The only possible fun part of being a girl and its taken away from me." I sulk as I lift my collar and take the fortieth stare at my plankboard chest.

"HAHA! I can mess with Granielle's breasts all day and it's perfectly legal!" Natalie snickered as she groped the Ice Maiden from behind whilst in the middle of getting changed.

"Groping is not a Woman!" The white-haired Amazonian by the corner yelled as she tore off her clothes and squeezed into a two-piece which barely contained her pectorals or gluts either.

"Hey Hunty, hows does your big niece look in this?" My loathsome older niece strutted over in a lightning pattern bikini with string straps. Aside from the rather squared jawline, Lexus looked a dangerous lot like Lucy now. Likewise Laddy had taken on more of the Lightning Tart's appearance since the swap too. "Don't I just look a mil hey Hunty?"

"Stop calling me that!" I snap with my arms stretched down my side. "Honestly, I just want to get in the water so we can get back to some sort of normality as soon as possible.

"So what swimsuit are you gonna wear Benita-gal?" Natalie stalked over my left shoulder.

"Isn't it obvious? There's only one thing I can wear with my situation."

/?/?/?/

I figured frills would do the trick.

"Aww. That yellow onepiece looks so cute on you Benita." needless to say, my bitchy half-niece took every possible angle to mock me. "It'll blend right in when you pee in the water. Now we just have to get you a ring and some floaties for your arms and you can play in the rock pool."

"I can't wait for when you go in the water and turn back into a bikini-clad toad." I retort under my breath.

"Whehey!" Eddie wolf whistled us over as the boys waited by the water's edge in their board shorts. One of us should have probably mentioned the- oh never mind, this will be good.

"Hey Benita-chan." Wally hopped over and gave me some much-needed company. "That swimsuit looks very neat on you."

"Aw, thanks Wally, at least you're not a jerk about it like the other boyish girls over there." I noticed Natalie was kicking sand into a Gajelle and Granielle's cleavages. "Still, I suppose it's nice to view the world from another point of view for a while."

"Oi! Come on in already!" Kane shouted out as he wore a beercap over his head. "The water's fantastic!"

"Yahoo!" Most of the other boys and girls (though it was getting confusing by their mannerisms.) ran straight for the water, Javis and Levis elbowed each other as they raced side by side as did Granielle and Natalie. They all plunged into the refreshingly cool water, their bodies glistening with the sun's reflection as they swam or splashed around the blue bliss.

"Ahh...This is nice," I sigh as I submerge my waist into the water. "Shame it took something like this to get us out for a beach trip though."

"Loosen up Benita," Laddy reassured me with his gorilla sized, hairy hand on my shoulder. "Let's enjoy the sun and the water while we're here eh?"

"Yeah okay." But I suddenly feel like I've forgotten something. "Hey where's Darien and Yoshiki anyway?"

/?/?/?/

_Darien: [Unfurls a crumpled piece of paper and starts reading] For the purposes of maintaining our dignity, Yoshiki and myself will not be participating in anymore of this Gender-swapping story._

_Yoshiki: We hope you will appreciate our wishes. Now where's the deodorant?_

_CRRRSH!_

/?/?/?/

"Humph. There loss then." I shrug my shoulders as I try to get back into the fun. "Whee! The water's so refreshing and wonderful and crispy and...dammit why the hell haven't we turned back yet?"

Several minutes have already passed and despite all the clear fun everyone's been having (Natalie, in trying to show off her dolphin impersonation, swallowed a bunch of seawater and had to go back to the changers for a while) we had still not re-genderised or whatever the scientific term is called.

"I guess it must take some time for the effects to appear." Eddie surmised as he punched a beach ball high into the air. "Requip: extra tanning lotions for my quads and biceps."

"Hey everyone I brought a watermelon." Mirajohn had returned after a while, dropping the heavy beachgoer's fruit on to the dry sand. "Phew..."

"Well, we've almost covered every beach episode cliché in the book." I monitor our progress so far. "Now I guess all we need is some sort of volleyball competition from a bunch of intruding rivals."

SPLAT. Just as I had barely turned my neck thirty degrees, my fragile little face was met with a high velocity volleyball as it smacked right on the nose. "OWW! Dammit watch where you're throwing guys."

"Oi! Got somethin' to say pipsqueak!" A voice called over from the other side of the beach as several nasty looking jocks strolled over.

"Oh no!" I shrieked as soon as I recognised their genderised forms. "Oltear! Rustyrosette! Marty! Zancrella! Azumi! Eww, Cain Hikari! They've shown up!?"

"That's right you Fairy wimps." Oltear laughed as he whisked his long black hair. "The Seven Kins of Purgatory own this beach now and you're on our turf!"

"Wait but there's only six of you." Wally noticed.

"Hohoho! I guess now calls for my début," and with a snooty princess voice, a small girl with brown coiled pigtails and wearing a white school swimsuit stepped on the sandy battlefield. Scratching together her impressive fake nail extensions she threw me a glance which told me that it was officially 'on' between us. "Benzillia Bentrinez at your acquaintance."

* * *

A bloody beach brawl looks to be brewing between Fairy Tail and the new Seven Kins of Purgatory. Who will burst out as the victor in this tussle? Stay tuned and find out more in the next chapter!


	3. Guilds, Gals and Gravure Challenges

I've left this omake for a while but I'm keen to wrap this little short (Geddit? Because Benita's short and - oh nevermind...) up soon. I have to admit, this episode was probably finally motivated by the fact that I've started watching an Anime called "To-Love-ru" recently. Thanks to that, I might just get this omake over the finish line and completed. So here's the long awaited next chapter unveiled...Enjoy!

My Fairette Part III: Guilds, Gals and Gravure Challenges

Previously on My Fairette:

_"Well, we've almost covered every beach episode cliché in the book. Now I guess all we need is some sort of volleyball competition from a bunch of intruding rivals." SPLAT. "OWW! Dammit watch where you're throwing guys."_

_"Oi! Got somethin' to say pipsqueak!"  
_

_"Oh no! Oltear! Rustyrosette! Marty! Zancrella! Azumi! Eww, Cain Hikari! They've shown up!?"_

_"That's right you Fairy wimps. The Seven Kins of Purgatory own this beach now and you're on our turf!"_

_"Wait but there's only six of you."  
_

_"Hohoho! I guess now calls for my début, Benzillia Bentrinez at your acquaintance."_

/?/?/?/

We Fairy folks might have thought that having our transmission oil switched was a big enough challenge to face the guild.

We were, like, totally wrong yeah...

We were now about to engage in the biggest battle of our guild's history. The fate of the world would be decided with this battle between light and darkness. Blood would be shed, tears would be poured, and many breasts would get chaffed...

~In a beach volleyball competition yeah~!

"That's yours Benita!" Laddy calls out to me as the volleyball rises over the net. I hop back a few steps with my eyes locked on the ball, my hands wave around in all places but no place in which I could possibly catch a ball.

Well I did sort of catch it.

When it pelted me in the face.

It didn't bounce over the other side though.

"You alright?" Laddy checks over me, his foul body odour bringing me back to life as I rise back to my feet, rubbing the big red circle now plastered on my face.

"Hohoho! You're like s'rsly crap at this game!" Benzilla made a princess laugh as she held the ball in her teacup pose. "You guys should just give up before we even start this thing. Give us back our beach and maybe a few Lite Cruisers for the trouble."

"No way! That was only a practise round." I snarl back at my copycat rival. "We will wipe that slutty smile off your face and we will make you clean our Magic-mobiles in Daisy-Duke outfits when we win!"

Natalie interjected. "Except Cain..."

"Oh yeah, except Cain of course." I pointed my finger directly at Benzillia and her gang of wierdos. "So let's play ball, bitches!"

/?/?/?/

Yeah we totally sucked.

In fact I totally sucked.

I was definitely leading our guild down with all the sucking I was doing. That darn ball just had a thing against me and would never seem to let me give it a spike. Well, actually I suppose I just plain suck at volleyball, like I do at most sports (oh except running, that's a sport right?).

"Humph, you're ruining our game Benita. And that's a woman!" The Elfwomam scolded me with her deep (and still quite manly) voice as we lost another round to Rustyrose and Benzillia.

"Hohoho! That makes it three wins for us and a big fat zero for you Fairy losers."

I grumbled as I grabbed some sand in my fist. "Gheh! It's not fair! Why do I have to be in every match-up?"

"S'riously?" my bitchy copycat cocked her head to one side. "Coz you're there master n'everything. You should like, lead by example and start by growing a pair you miserable plank."

"WHY YOU! GARGH!" My claws were suddenly unleashed as it was officially 'on' between me and Benzillia. I tackled her to the ground and had a good wrestle for about thirty intense seconds. Surprisingly the it was the guys who are now girls who still held onto some of their macho desires and egged us on for the time being. The girls who are now guys on the other hand, acted more like gentlemen and broke us up before we could claw each other's throats out.

"I say instead of some lousy beach volleyball competition we make this challenge a little more exciting..." I say to her, huffing with a bit of sprite in me after that little catfight. "Let's have our best six go up against your best six and then whoever wins the most gets this beach as their holiday pad!"

"Yeah, my breasts were getting all sore playing volleyball anyway." Natalie complained very unreservedly, squeezing her chaffed melons together just to emphasise her point – or more likely just to show them off for the thirtieth time today.

"Yeah mine too." Oh and like twin sisters, Granielle made a pout and crossed her arms, pushing up her chest packs too. Wait, you haven't even played a round yet what are you complaining about!?

"Geez, listening to you girls makes my crotch itchy," Eddie added one more to the grotesque lines, giving said region another scratch for the quota.

"Okay..." Benzillia agrees with a sly nod. "But I'll be choosing all the contests."

"Agreed." I nod with a smirk of my own. "We break and come back in five with our teams."

"You got it!"

/?/?/?/

SEVERAL MATCHES LATER:

Well we weren't sucking any less than before now. After Natalie versed Zancrella in a competition to see how much sand they could hold between their breasts; with Natalie getting carried away just playing with her sand containers and pleasing the guys (and girls!) along the way. And after I tried to have Javis and Mirajohn tag-team up against Oltear and Marty in a beach wrestling match – with of course Levy refusing to fight unless she could tag-team with Granielle, thus giving us a disadvantage and subsequent double-point loss (although I think it was more Levy's constant looking out for his beloved Granielle rather than any gender imbalance) we were down three points out of the seven point contest already.

Come to think of it...What are we even doing this for again?

The beach? Oh yeah, and I suppose there's some pride in there for us too.

"Hey Benita-gal." Eddie walked over to me with a sumo loincloth wrapped around his waist. "Lemme fight Azumi in the next match."

"Kay sure mate but..." I paused whilst noticing Eddie's apparent lack of armour. "What's with the loincloth? Benzillia hasn't told us what the next contest is yet?"

"I know but..." Eddie flicked back his hair as a fresh reflective moody kinda breeze whipped up along the beach. "I kinda feel more confident wearing this loincloth all of a sudden."

"Ah-ha..." I nodded, not bothering to try and work out eddies psyche at the moment. We had victory as our number one priority. I bet that bitchzillia is already weaving a cosy with the words "LOSERS! LOL! ROFL!" Stitched in pretty rainbow threads on it. That craft whore! I won't let her do such a thing!

"Okay Eddie! Bag us a win my brave boy!" I really wanted to smack him on the bum, know it was kinda technically Erza in there. But as leader I had to retain some sort of self-restraint.

But damn when I see his gluts bouncing with each stride...

Anyway let's see what this next match is lol...

…

We all assembled around a deep pit dug out from the sand dunes. The set up looked pretty elaborate, with a wooden platform for Benzillia and her six other lads and ladettes to enjoy the upcoming spectacle from. Just looking at that coil-pigtailed wench's arrogant smile told me that she had something fishy planned for us Fairettes. "So Benita, are your bunch of fairy wimps and plankboards ready to give us back our beach?"

"Omigod like hell we're giving up bitchzillia!" I snapped back. I think I'm getting better at retorts now thanks to this new form. "We're like, not giving up and such, so you'll soon have those smutty looks wiped off your faces with the Kleenex of defeat soon enough Mwahaha!"

Natalie and Granielle both shook their heads behind me. "You're not getting the hang of those retorts are you Benita-gal?"

Benzillia smiled an even more arrogant princessy smile as she flicked her bouncy coiltails. "Well since this was meant to be a best of four and I am already one point away from absolute victory, I think I'll give you Fairy fishies some mercy and increase the stakes for my own gang."

"Gasp!" All the girls (that's us remember) verbally gasped. "You think you'll beat us that easily eh?"

"Of course Mwahahaha!" She laughed in her arrogant princess type self again. "If your next teammate can win this challenge, I'll give you four points and hand victory and this beach to your gross guild. But if they lose, I shall claim victory, this beach and the pride of knowing that we Seven Kins easily beatdown the fairy fashion faux pas'es! Mwahaha!"

"Ugh, that was even more unbearable than my bit." I groaned as I awaited our challenge. "Well, Eddie is our best fighter and he can overcome whatever challenge you throw at him, be it a Tabasco sauce sculling contest or a bed of hot coals or balance-the-toothpick-on-your-nose or anything you can possibly imagine with that brain as twisted as your hair-do is of yours!"

"_Really?_" She said with a rising tone, crossing her arms across her noticeably larger chest since the last scene (damn, she even had the gall to pack tissues in there! _) "'Whatever challenge I can possibly imagine for you'?" She flicked her head over to Rustyrose as she held what looked like a packet of dried octopus in her hand. She pulled out the thin sheets of dried octopus and scattered them down in the bottom of the pit.

"Hagh! What're you trying to attract seagull or something?" I laughed at this pathetic display being handed down to us as Rustyrose emptied the entire packet down into the pit.

Benzillia then summoned her other right hand girl, the dark-skinned Amazon Azumi as her challenger for our Eddie. "All your Eddie has to do is knock out Azumi." the preppy princess stated. "I promise Azumi won't even try to attack your 'handsome' loincloth warrior – essentially he has your entire guilds victory in his hands."

I began to feel the earth rumble as the dried food began to stir up something. "But of course there will be a catch, there is a timelimit to Eddie's challenge.

"What the hell is that!?" Suddenly the girls, still holding onto enough testosterone to test their curiosity and dwell around the pit's edges, pointed out an object growing, expanding...breathing! Emerging from the dried octopus.

"With a little help from Rustyrose, I've come up with a little pet to help make this challenge more..._titillating_."

"Oh no..." I shuddered when I finally met gazes with the creature that had sprouted like Frankenstein's monster from the pit. And as it set its giant mollusc eyes on myself, Natalie, Granielle, Elfwoman and all the other fleshy girls in our group, I echoed three syllables anyone would be thinking when confronted with such a surreal and dangerous situation.

"Ten-ta-cles!"

* * *

The final battle awaits as Benita and the other Fairettes prepare themselves as the hostages of a giant octopus. We all know what that means right? Let's just pray there isn't some sort of clothes eating acid laced on those tentacles or else Benita and the others could be in for a real humiliating defeat. Can Eddie save his guild from becoming ecchi fodder? Let's find out in what will surely be the concluding chapter of My Fairette!


End file.
